Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.
Submitted by kara dolson
Teacher Funny SMS
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
Random Jokes for SMS
A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
Random Jokes - SMS
A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Brilliant Students Teased their Teacher
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Short Doctor Joke SMS - LOL
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
Doctor: Next please!
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